Well I guess there is no final bow for this blogger….
I thought that I would never need to blog about my affair ever again except maybe in a reporting back kind of way; you know – everything is getting better, we’re happier, things are moving in the right direction now….. All that “kid yourself bullshit!” and yeah it is bullshit too. Affairs ruin your life – simple! Now another one has reared its ugly head to blight our lives, that’s right you heard me another one. Karma really has delivered the final low blow to the ol’ ugster. So what has happened then? Well I guess by now you will have deduced that Mrs UOTI has finally fully retaliated in the face of my affair by fucking a complete stranger she met online.
Ok maybe you might not have deduced all the detail but certainly the act. Yes she has crossed the line and become one of us, the “A” brand has been burned across her forehead and she is now one of the damned. She’d been caught up in an EA earlier on in our “recovery” when a predator crashed a betrayed spouse forum she had been visiting, but I thought that had been dealt with and we were moving on – duh! Instead she had merely hidden it better and then plunged fully across the line. I’m not going into any details of her acts and yes it is more than one; that is for her to tell and for us to work through.
So here I am braced for the flood of “you deserve it” and “tit for tat” comments and all of that. Yes I put my hands up, this particular ball was set in motion by my own hand so to a degree I do have to reap what I have sown, but still the pain is very raw and I would hope that even (or especially) the betrayed spouses out there would not wish this nightmare upon anybody else.
I’ll probably not respond to any comments for a while (if ever – sorry) as I’m drawing my head back into my shell for a bit. I just needed to get this out there as another reminder to those who are still engaged in an affair that you may be having a whale of a time being dick deep in your AP (or t’other way round for my female readers – if I have any left….) you may be thinking that you love your AP with all your heart and that your wife/husband is just another obstacle to your happiness; but just think about this – what if your roles were reversed? I know I have touched on this subject in an earlier post way back in August ’10 but it’s worth stating again for obvious reasons. What if it’s your spouse that is doing what you’re doing? Feeling what you’re feeling? Would you still be so happy with what you’re doing? Would you really? I know I wouldn’t have thought that when I was doing the deed and now I have experienced both sides of a very shitty coin I can fully endorse that statement – I would definitely not be happy with what I was doing! Hypocritical I know but in essence that is the human condition isn’t it, what is good for the goose is definitely not good for the gander!!
So that’s truly it now folks, no happier ever after for this boy. Just as life looked a little less bleak I’m back amongst the dung heap. If we’re not quite at square one we’re surely down in the low digits. I’m gonna keep cracking on because essentially I love my wife and she still loves me – that has not changed despite the damage that we have inflicted on each other. We will pick ourselves up from this latest bump in an already bumpy road, but it sure is looking a little longer now…..